Life lessons I’ve learned from my puppy
About three months ago, my girlfriend and I adopted a Labradoodle puppy. Honey Bear has been a lot of work, but he also provides a huge source of joy. He makes me smile nearly nonstop; he constantly does silly and clumsy things, and even when doing nothing, he is just so damn cute.
Over time, we’ve taught him a lot of things–how to play fetch, how to go the bathroom in the correct place, and basic commands. But what we have taught him is a distant second to what he has taught us. Here are some of the lessons that I’ve learned.
Be in the moment
The most striking thing about dogs is how in the moment they are. One morning about a month ago, I was taking Honey Bear for a walk in the park near my place. As he happily traipsed through the grass, I ran through my mental list of all the things I was going to do after we finished the walk. And then I realized that for him, there was nothing after the walk. All that exists for him is what happens in the present moment.
We humans often spend so much time ruminating on the past and thinking about the future that we forget to pay attention to what’s happening right now. But for dogs, life is happening, right here and now.
Honey Bear could be happy or sad or want something from me or from another dog, but in 30 seconds, all of that will be gone, replaced by what is going on in that new moment. Without all the baggage of past regrets and future desires tugging you down, it’s easy to be happy living in the present. Maybe that’s why dogs are so happy all the time.
Take care of your needs, but don’t be greedy
Dogs are extremely selfish in some ways. They have no problem demanding whatever they want, whether it be dinner, a bathroom outing, or even just some cuddling. They have very little context of what else is going on–I have tried to explain to mydog that I’m going to take him for a walk as soon as I finish whatever task I’m working on, and I guarantee that he didn’t understand any of it. He just sees the present need, and does whatever he can to be cute or annoying until he gets it.
And that’s generally a good thing. Without going overboard, it’s important to take care of your basic needs. Caring for a dog has actually taught me that I need to create space for myself as well. It’s easy to put one’s own needs second to others’ needs, but that isn’t healthy or sustainable in the long-term. In the grand scheme of things, it’s not a huge deal if I feed him 15 minutes late or take him for a walk a bit later than usual. If I don’t take care of myself, then I won’t be able to take care of him or the other people in my life. And this also applies to my interactions with other humans; sometimes I need to recognize what is important, and speak up until I get it.
The corollary to this to not be greedy. As dogs have no concept of the future, they also don’t have any need to hoard things. Honey Bear wants a treat, and then he wants another treat, and then another, but he would never ask me for the whole bag of treats in one go. Humans often want 100 of something just because, forgetting that 99 others will need to go without for that extravagance. This is a place where we can definitely learn from our canine friends.
Always be friendly to everyone
The final thing I have noticed about Honey Bear is that he is always happy, and that happiness is contagious. When we are out and about, he goes up to random people all the time, demanding love and affection. He doesn’t care about race or social class or any of the other things that polarize us; he just sees other creatures who are potential friends. And he’s super assertive — he walks up to them and plops down at their feet.
And most people are happy to indulge him, because his joy rubs off on others. People have a positive interaction with him, and then walk away just a little bit happier. Maybe the next 10 minutes of their day is a little bit brighter, but hey that’s something. When I’m having a shitty day, one positive interaction can turn things around.
So I’m not saying that my dog is any kind of philosopher king, but the simple and honest way he approaches life is an inspiration. Sometimes humans make our lives way too complicated, and we could be a lot happier if we just took a page from our dogs.
